Wounded

<<injured, hurt>>

In the course of life’s experiences and relationships everyone suffers hurts from physical and emotional abuse as well as accidents, tragedies and neglect. These injuries affect our whole personality – they are an inevitable part of life, and will continue while we are in this fallen world. Such wounding, whether self-inflicted or caused by others, (often through words or our unwise decisions) penetrates the soul causing untold inner anguish – especially the rejection by a marriage partner that ends in divorce. Besides experiencing emotional distress through the conflict or breakdown of close personal relationships, other sources can be unresolved work issues, the loss of identity that was provided by employment, unrealized dreams and financial failure.

Wounds are not always negative or destructive though – the wounds of Jesus are the means for our healing (Isa 53:5). Wounds can be for our good. “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word”, said the Psalmist (Ps 119:67). They can teach us important lessons. Our wounded-ness also enables us to stand alongside those who are experiencing deep emotional injuries, sharing the grace of God with empathy (2 Cor 1:4).

responding in the opposite spirit – forgiving, praying for and blessing those who trouble us – we will draw nearer to Him (Mt 5:44; 1 Pet 3:9).  This requires strength of character not to respond in a similar manner, to justify one’s self or to develop a victim mentality (through self-pity), for although we can’t always control what happens to us, we can manage how we let it affect us (Lk 6:31).

Wounded people have shattered confidence, a reluctance to trust people, become defensive and isolate themselves from others who may potentially inflict more emotional or physical hurt; consequentially they are living well below their capability. Self-pity, blame, condemnation and a low self-esteem are negative emotions that take a heavy toll. Although others may have inflicted suffering we must take personal responsibility to prevent any destructive forces from taking root in our spirit, guarding our inner being as treasure as to varying degrees we are all wounded (Prov 4:23; Heb 12:15).

Spiritual first aid for inner healing:

1/. Our mindset. By having a correct understanding of God’s loving nature Joseph knew bad things do happen to good people too, and by seeing things from God’s long-range perspective he was enabled to cope and overcome so he could say to those who had treated him despicably, “You meant it for evil, but God intended it for good…” (Gen 50:20).

Blameless Job, in the midst of his major calamities, maintained his confidence and trust in the rightness of God and he ultimately rediscovered Him in a greater dimension than if he had not experienced the wounding events (Job 2:10, 42:1-6). By maintaining your faith in God the pieces of the jigsaw will come together. As you call on God He will heal or give the grace to endure, but if you give up and fail to break through this will forever be a cause for disillusion and hurt, with your faith being hindered by a bitter experience you can’t forget.

God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thes 5:18). We are refined by the heartaches if we respond correctly. The choice is either to look at the pain and, in despair, resort to self-pity or look away to the healer and accept the sovereignty of God. God’s strength is made perfect through my weakness (2 Cor 12:9).

3/. When what we experience seems illogical or inconsistent with what has been taught or understood about God, “Lean not on your own understanding” instead endeavour to walk in faith and faithfulness when nothing makes sense – we won’t know all the answers this side of eternity (Prov 3:5,6; Heb 10:35). Satan wants us to lose our confidence in God and tries to sidetrack us with wounds and offences. However our perception and emotions are not reliable indicators of the situation so don’t place your confidence in feelings but the steadfast promises of the Word of God.  “The Lord heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds” (Ps 34:18, 147:3; Isa 61:1,2; Lk 4:18,19).

4/. Besides being rejected by God because of our sin, Jesus was physically wounded and so is able to identify with us (Mt 27:26,35,46; Heb 4:15). Make a concerted effort to reach out to Jesus, allowing Him to minister to your inner self, progressively dealing with the pain of the past and moving on into freedom to be the person you were designed to be.  

There are numerous possibilities of being wounded each day – will I let them cut into my soul and so become bitter or will I let the character of God prevail and change me for the better because of my response?  Don’t allow self-pity to enlarge on the situation, instead bring all your wounding experiences to God as Hannah did (1 Sam 1:2,6-16). God is able to turn your situation around.

5/. Inner healing requires a generous amount of time to be effective, together with immersing your mind in the transforming power of the Scriptures and heartfelt prayer. Ask Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit to bring healing to your memories. Over time even though you still have the memory of the experience, the emotionally crippling power will not hold you in bondage. Although the wounding can’t be undone, its devastating effect can be limited and even reversed as you walk with God and, with empathy, reach out to others who are experiencing similar traumatic, emotionally raw injuries. Sometimes it is helpful to have the assistance of Godly counsellors who can guide you through the process.

6/. For a believer, regardless of the magnitude of the wounding caused, un-forgiveness is not an option. Such a stance will hold you bound, causing serious inner turmoil, often physical ailments and block off your source of forgiveness as well – “If you do not forgive men when they sin against you, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Mt 6:15). We hold the key to our own release – forgiveness – use it!

‘I reject those words. In Jesus name they will not blight my spirit’. Sometimes, rather than adding fuel to the fire by speaking back or voicing an opinion, it is better to refrain from speaking at all. While some issues may need to be confronted with helpful, constructive criticism, this must be done in love with the aim of reconciliation and bringing about the “fruit of righteousness” (2 Cor 5:18,19). A third party may be helpful in this regard.

See also: abuse, baggage, bitterness, bondage, broken-hearted, challenges, deliverance, dreams (shattered), emotions, forgive/forgiveness, hurts, inner healing, memory, mindset, offence, opposite spirit, reaction, self-pity, thinking/thoughts, tongue, victim mentality, wholeness.