Self-respect

Self-respect has its roots in our values, morals and belief systems. It focuses on how we understand our self-esteem (how we feel about ourselves) and put those values into practice, evidenced in our choices, daily behaviour and interactions, in ways that honour our needs and desires, while recognising our worth.

The Bible instructs us to "Love our neighbour as ourselves…Doing to others as we would have them do to us” (Mk 12:31; Lk 6:31). To exhibit kindness, compassion, and generosity towards our neighbours, it is imperative that we first embody these qualities in our own lives. “No one despises their own body but rather nourishes and cares for it” (Eph 5:29).

We will gain more respect from others when we respect ourselves

Maintaining our physical body is important, as well as addressing our emotional and psychological needs. The Bible instructs us to guard our heart more than any treasure for it directs our whole life, for as a person thinks in their heart, so they are (Prov 4:23, 23:7). This highlights the importance of inward thoughts and motivations, as they shape a person's outward actions and intentions for a person's true character is revealed not just by what they say, but by what they truly believe and desire.

A lack of self-respect may stem from experiences such as childhood abuse, school bullying, insufficient care and support from family, or trauma in relationships, which can lead to feelings of insignificance or worthlessness.

Negative self-talk and reacting with wrong, strong emotions undermine our self-respect by not honouring our needs or what we want from life. Typical examples include: ‘I’m not good enough, I can never do anything right’, yet who are we to say God made a poor job of us? Responding with verbal anger or physical abuse, as well as allowing oneself to be taken advantage of due to an inability to say 'no', compromises our boundaries. Additionally, focusing excessively on the opinions of others rather than prioritising one's self-perception can further undermine self-respect.

To combat such destructive responses, nurture a positive mindset and take control of your thoughts (Rom 12:2; 2 Cor 10:5). Our outbursts of hurtful words and other harmful emotions need concerted effort with the Lord’s help to be tamed (Eph 4:26; Jas 1:19,20, 3:2,6,8). Setting healthy boundaries is an act of self-respect that honours the person God created you to be, protecting you from harmful

Walk with integrity and be true to your values

relationships and ensuring your values remain intact. Caring for yourself is not selfish, but a way to respect what God has created. It is important to prioritise our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. We are responsible for and ultimately answerable for our lives, as others are for theirs, so don’t be emotionally under the control of others. Cultivating mutual and uplifting relationships further reinforces the respect you show to yourself, as the company of supportive and respectful individuals inspires growth and confidence. Identify your values, those standards that you will not compromise on.

To foster self-respect, act and make decisions that positively impact ourselves and our relationships. Identify your values and key moral beliefs, determining with God’s help that you will not compromise them. Self-respect is a commitment and an ongoing journey that requires continual effort and dedication. It is essential for overcoming challenges, building resilience, and maintaining emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.

While we may mess up occasionally, it’s important to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings and apologise with grace to others when we make mistakes. We are to love ourselves regardless of the inevitable blunders. When these stumbles happen, it can be painful, yet they are an opportunity for growth if we learn from the experiences.