Rejection

<<setting aside, non-acceptance>>

This is being refused inclusion by failing to meet specific requirements. Being ignored, abandoned, unwanted, excluded or ridiculed leads to loneliness, self-pity, depression and hopelessness. Indifference, bitterness, resentment, hatred, anger and rebellion are other reactions that Satan wants those who feel rejected to adopt because they are not loved and accepted. Our response determines whether we are over-comers, walking free in emotional health, or casualties in bondage because our spirit is wounded, and allowing others to define who we are. Those who have been consistently rejected are unable to communicate love, while continually being criticized severely damages a person’s self-worth making them insecure about who they are ‘in Christ’ as they live under the fear of other people. Unless the hurts are dealt with as they occur, there is a cumulative effect.

We all fear the devastation of rejection in some area. We incorrectly believe that the measure of acceptance extended to us by others is a true measure of our value. We fear the rejection of people and so hide from them, physically, emotionally or socially. In this ‘fallen world’ we are all less than ‘whole people’ so how can we judge others or think we

Rejection is the root cause of many social problems

are superior to those who have been wrecked in their private lives? Criticism and ridicule cut deep. Rejection is the greatest psychological wound that a person can experience. “A man’s spirit will sustain him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?” (Prov 18:14). A wounded spirit drains a person’s life and they are easily offended.

However, Jesus came to heal the broken hearted (Lk 4:18). On the cross Jesus, out of His love, asked that the people who had rejected Him be forgiven (Lk 23:34). For our benefit we too must forgive those who cause us deep inner wounding. As we accept ourselves ‘in Christ’, this releases us to be all He wants us to be, confident that He who started a good work in us will carry it on to completion (Phil 1:6). “[I am] God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus…” (Eph 2:10). We are accepted by Christ, even if sometimes His followers don’t extend this grace to their fellow humans.

Negative emotional attitudes can be transmitted to a baby from the time of conception onwards with rejection being common when there is an unplanned pregnancy or a child of the ‘wrong’ sex is born. When one spouse walks out of the marriage, this leaves deep emotional scars of betrayal, shame, disgrace and humiliation on the other spouse and children. As it is often the man who walks away from his responsibilities this instils a very wrong concept of the father-heart of God in those affected, besides a warped understanding of fathering and parenting. Love, affirmation and security are sadly lacking with such young people growing up socially maladjusted, and having major emotional or personality problems.

The adults and children caught up in family breakdowns, as well as those put up for adoption, need to be released from a spirit of rejection by cutting it off through prayer. We should verbally reject destructive things that would come against us – ‘I reject those negative words…In Jesus name I reject this sickness’ while stating positive things such as ‘I accept the truth…I claim the health that is my right as a child of God’. This is not merely ‘mind over matter’ or having a positive mental attitude, but rather a declaration to the spiritual realm of what you seek The negative influence of rejection must be counteracted with the truth, and be replaced with forgiveness, love and acceptance, besides focusing on who acts for you – Jesus – and the many blessings He supplies in this life.

Many people compromise their values and give in to pressure and manipulation so they won’t be rejected by their peers. Even though others may reject us, no one who comes to Jesus will be rejected regardless of their state or standing in society (Ps 27:9,10; Jn 6:37; Eph 1:3-6; Rev 22:17). As with all spiritual, emotional and relational problems, relief can

Jesus accepts whoever comes Him – John 6:37

be found in the cross of Christ, for there a divinely appointed exchange took place as He took our rejection, the sin that would keep us out of heaven, and gave us acceptance through the forgiveness of sin.

Because we have been redeemed by Jesus we are not our own. God feels rejected when we ignore His rightful position in our lives, don’t obey Him, neglect to spend time with Him, and don’t follow His teachings (Jn 12:44-50). Rejecting God’s right to rule is always disastrous – it is rebellion and leads to destruction and regret. It is vital to maintain a sensitive heart and conscience to the Holy Spirit so we don’t reject God’s leading (1 Sam 2:30, 15:23; Heb 3:12). It is better to be accepted by God and rejected by man than accepted by man and shut out of heaven because you rejected the truth of God’s Word and a relationship with Him (Jn 12:48). Have the backbone of character to stand up to peer pressure.

The prophets were rejected by the general population, Jesus was, and there will be times when we will be too if we a living upright lives (Isa 53:3; Mt 5:12; Lk 17:25, 20:17; Jn 1:11; 1 Pet 2:4). When people reject the message of salvation this is ultimately rejecting Christ, not the messenger so don’t take it personally, rather commit yourself to the justice of God and take the opportunity to share with others instead (1 Sam 8:7; Lk 10:16; Act 13:46; 1 Pet 2:23).

As Jesus experienced rejection by humanity, He can comfort those who are experiencing it now (Mt 13:55-57, 21:42; Mk 6:4; Heb 4:15). Even though the physical agony of crucifixion was horrendous, bearing our penalty by taking our sin was greater because He was deserted by God for a time (Mt 27:46; Mk 15:34).

The gospel often divides families; those who follow Christ are rejected by the ones who don’t want to submit to His authority yet the Christian members should never reject those who are not Christians (Mt 10:32-36).

Focus on who is for you, not against you

Christ never rejected anyone, instead He prayed they would reconsider their position for it is the hardness of heart that causes the rejection of truth and prevents life coming forth – like the unreceptive soil where the seed could not grow (Mt 23:37; Mk 4:15; Rom 10:13).

Be careful not to reject those who hold different views, are of a different culture, race or religion. Instead, respect and reach out to all people with encouragement and support, accepting them as those made in His image. From healthy self-acceptance we can extend acceptance, motivated by genuine love.