Hurts

<<wounded, damage>>

Ideally, our spirit, soul, and body should function in health and wholeness without impairment or suffering. However, various factors can negatively impact humanity – socially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically – causing damage. When one of these areas is injured, the other components of our complex and interrelated self are also affected.

Many people can live productive and fulfilled lives despite physical injuries or handicaps; however, if the inner personality is seriously scarred by bitterness – through holding onto an offence, unforgiveness, unresolved issues or other negative attitudes – this will blight their whole nature and have a detrimental influence on their relationships with others and God (Mt 6:14,15; Heb 12:15; 1 Jn 1:6,7, 3:15). Words and actions have a very pronounced and substantial effect on people, often seriously wounding their inner personalities (spirits).  Children especially are susceptible to being emotionally crippled, so unless seemingly minor incidents are addressed, they will cause enormous problems in the future, as to how they relate to people and their outlook on life. The family unit and church, a core part of a Christian’s life, should be safe, accepting, forgiving, and free from conflict and hurt. Yet, this is seldom the case. Because of our sinful nature as believers, we are not exempt from causing and receiving pain and suffering from those we love and interact with on our faith journey.

The residual damage from healed physical injuries can often appear in later life. Similarly, inner hurts that have not been radically addressed can lie dormant until something triggers them and the emotional malicious poison within erupts, reinforcing the destructive negative memories by criticism and complaining, indicating that true forgiveness was not extended to the person. When memories of a situation are shared, and only the facts are presented, it signals that the hurt has been addressed and resolved.

prayers the way they think is best or that He requires too high a sacrifice. Yet He wants to journey with us through this and provide genuine healing. Jesus said, blessed is the person who doesn’t become offended because of being associated with Me and My ways (Isa 55:8-9; Mt 11:6, 13:21). 

It is our responsibility to process these wounds so they don’t leave us deformed and crippled in our inner being which controls all aspects of our life (Lk 17:1,22). We are instructed to “guard our heart above all else, for it determines the course of our life” (Prov 4:23). We must monitor our thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and actions, and stop rehearsing the events or reacting to those who hurt us. Jesus did not let His hurts and disappointments distract Him from His mission. He continued to show love to all people. Satan wants us to remain bitter and not experience the multifaceted freedom of life Jesus died to provide (Jn 10:10). If the harm involves physical, sexual, psychological, or spiritual abuse, it may be deeply rooted. Where reportable abuse is involved, the appropriate authorities, both in the church and outside of it, must be informed. Consider seeking guidance or counsel from a trusted friend or pastor. 

We should not ignore others' imperfections but help them towards wholeness. Pay attention first to your flaws so you can better assist others with theirs: "Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye and ignore the plank in your eye? First, remove the plank from your eye, then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye" (Mt 7:3-5). This highlights self-examination and mutual support, helping each other recognise our weaknesses so we can grow. We must hold on to Jesus but release bitterness and unforgiveness.

good (Gen 50:20; Rom 8:28,38). Connect with God, who will never abandon us. The Bible reassures us, “The Lord is close to those who are broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Ps 34:18). Allow God to comfort you in your troubles (2 Cor 1:3-5). Even His discipline is carried out with love and for our ultimate benefit.

encounter people who are also experiencing difficulties. The Bible instructs us to pray for and bless those who cause us distress, rather than allowing these hurts to impact us negatively and foster bitterness. This principle is known as responding in the opposite spirit (Prov 25:21,22; Mt 5:44; Lk 6:27,28, 23:34; Rom 12:14-21). The devil wants to keep us in the bondage of a mental prison, emphasising the actions of others. We have little control over the treatment received, but we do have control over our reactions. The closer and more intimate we are to a person, the more vulnerable and hurtful any conflict is. As “A person’s enemies are often those in their immediate family”, this gives many opportunities for the old selfish nature to be put to death and prove the Lordship and victory of Christ in our daily life (Mt 10:36). The Bible warns against giving the enemy a foothold, instead advising to deal with any adverse situations promptly (Eph 4:26,27). Satan is both cunningly and blatantly opposed to us. Because we are Christians, we are involved in spiritual warfare whether we like it or not. Scripture tells us to put on the whole spiritual armour to stand against the devil’s schemes and resist him because he seeks to overcome and make us ineffective (2 Cor 2:11; Eph 6:11; Jas 4:7,8; 1 Pet 5:8,9).  Our responsibility is to be alert and always keep praying (Eph 6:18). Neglecting prayer and Bible reading leaves us open to the enemy and further conflict.

hearts (Ps 34:18, 147:3; Isa 61:1; Lk 4:18). Have I allowed Him to fix my heart or am I holding a grudge or offense against someone? In Jesus' name, leave the baggage of the past behind and walk in newness of life – this is why Jesus came to set us free, as people who are still hurting can’t function properly (Jn 8:32,36; Rom 8:1-4; 2 Cor 5:17; 1 Jn 3:8). Deal with your hurts so you can walk in freedom and victory. This requires that we focus on our responsibilities, not entitlements or rights. Do I allow myself to be more overwhelmed by the wrong people have done to me than the wrong I might have done (and may still be doing) to God by my unwillingness to trust Him? Life should not revolve around us; the glory of God should be our priority.

Our flawed character, with ineffective communication and self-centred tendencies, can lead to numerous potentially harmful interactions. It is vital to keep a close watch on our words to prevent causing harm to others (Eph 4:29,30; Jas 3:2). As a Christian, it is essential not to take matters into your own hands when hurt. It requires strong character to surrender your pain and anger to God through prayer and seek forgiveness. Acknowledge the hurt but avoid retaliation (this includes voicing your pain to everyone), along with physical and emotional withdrawing (excessive retreating from those you once had a close relationship with). Instead, respond with love and compassion as you pray for the strength to overcome the hurt. This approach will be challenging and contrary to initial feelings, but it is essential to turn to Jesus, not away from Him.

We can learn from Job’s life. During intense suffering, he reached out to others with their comparatively minor troubles and showed care by praying for them. It was then his situation was reversed (Job 42:10).

See also: abuse, baggage, bitterness, broken/brokenness, broken hearted, compassion, conflict, emotions, forgiveness, grief, healing, inner healing, not being ministered to, offense, opposite spirit, reaction, reconciliation, relationships, response, restorative justice, retaliation, self-pity, speech, wholeness, words, wounded.